Back to School

So I remember a little more from last night's dream.  There is a school building that morphs and changes as I go through it in the dream, but it has several of the same characteristics no matter what school I'm supposedly at in the dream.  It starts out being kind of similar to Holy Cross Lutheran School where I attended my 1st-8th grade years.  But usually I'm actually at Northgate Middle School in my dreams, where I taught for 14  years, even though the school is HCLS.  Sometimes it is a building similar to my high school, North Kansas City High School.  But when you go inside it is more confusing and lots of weird passages and such that aren't actually in my school.  In fact there tends to be many dead ends and even tunnels to get through to certain places.  One of the tunnels that always seems to show up is the hallway down in the basement of HCLS where we used to line up each day to get our lunch.  Not sure why that is still so present in my subconscious, but it is.  Then I end up back behind the school building through one of these tunnels or kind of hidden hallways.  And back there is a gym, which kind of turns into a football stadium somehow.  At first I end up back there and there is a practice going on.  Which turns into some kind of an assembly, that is an alumnae assembly for my graduating class.  So there are all these people I see that I know there.  Including the boys that I had a crush on back then.  And let's just say that this stadium is huge, like a minor league baseball team size, in fact it is no longer a football field, but now it is a baseball field.

My thoughts about where parts of this came from are varied.  I figure school is always on my mind since I am a school librarian.  When I found out yesterday that one of the school library jobs I applied for in another district was filled without me even getting to interview, I guess that is where the whole feeling left out bit, like the assembly and boys I had crushes on (that didn't ever like me back), came from.  My guess is that the football stadium part came from walking around the track in my current school's football stadium yesterday after school.  The turning into a baseball field probably comes from all the big Kansas City Royals excitement we've been having with our awesome team this year and last year.  There was definitely more to the dream.

I think that I was back in an apartment from when I was in college.  And as usual I hadn't ever officially moved out, so I had stuff in it, and needed to go move my stuff out.  And also it turned into a rental house that my aunt on my stepdad's side, well her ex-husband was living there part time while I wasn't there.  Weird, weird.  Of course sometimes he shows up in the same kind of situation but it is in a house I used to own and live in when I taught in Plattsburg, Missouri.  None of that makes any sense other than he lives in my grandma's house, but that's way near Girard, Kansas.

So I'm sharing lots of settings I guess so far for my dream journal.  Maybe I'll start remembering more of what is actually happening as I continue this blog.

A Swimming Pool

I remember a bit more from last night's dream.  Something that seems to pop up often in my dreams is a really kind of strange swimming pool.  In my dream I was following someone, my brother I think, to the pool.  I'd carried all our towels and other belongings, but he'd hurried on ahead. When I got there, he'd already had a chair or spot on the "good" side of the pool saved for him.  So I had to walk around the pool to try to find a chair to put my stuff on.  And as I got around to the backside of the pool, where it was right up next to a wall, or maybe 3 feet away, all of a sudden the floor/ground was dirt, and there were rocks. And it was like it was outside for that part.  I dream about a pool like that a lot.  Not sure what it means exactly. I can kind of guess what the part about my brother going on ahead without me means.  Even though he's five years younger than me, I feel like he's farther along at being an "adult" than I am.  He's  married, and has a little girl.  I'm 42, single with no significant other in sight, and no children possible, because I had a surgery last summer and had to take away that possibility.  He was always a popular kid, whereas I was the nerdy girl.  And while I am in the career/job that I wanted when I went to college, he has gone on to a slightly different field and makes a lot more money. Where he is kind of set, has money to spend as needed, I live paycheck to paycheck, and have even had some financial issues.  Of course I did go into the field of education, so that's my problem, and he went into the field of pharmaceutical sales, which is why he is doing so well.


Wish I could remember more from the dream, but that's about it.   Oh, I do remember that I was wearing a two piece swimsuit in public, and there is no way I'd be caught dead in even a one piece swimsuit right now.

A Tiny Speck

Wow, I cannot believe how much I am not remembering my dreams!  I couldn't really remember anything today until something about a jewelry store popped into my head. Then I remembered that last night there was a part in my dream where I walked into a jewelry store with my two sisters.  I immediately headed to the display with the opals, as I always do.  It is my birthstone, and I love them.  I know there are lots of other beautiful stones, and of course more valuable, but for me, I will always love opals.  All the different kinds, milky, black, fire, etc.

Bits and Pieces

I remember a little bit from last night's dream.  I know that parts of it are from things that happened this weekend, and other parts are what you'd call recurring themes/events from other dreams.

So, what I remember is being home, in the house where I lived most of my life, until my mom and stepdad moved when I was in college.  Of course the rooms inside the house are never quite the same as they really were.  But we were sitting and watching tv, again, not with the same setup as there was in real life.  It was me and two guys and I think a friend or a sister, can't remember.  One of the guys was someone either that I liked, or he liked me, or we both liked each other.  But he was kind of staying a little away from me, as if not sure whether it was okay in my house to be up close with me, or else as if he didn't know if I liked him.  At one point he came up behind me and put his hands on my hips and stood pressed up behind me as we all stood around a table and talked.  Then I left the room and went outside and started cleaning a truck that was sitting in the driveway.  And he came out, and that's about all I remember.

So...  still not sure why all of a sudden I'm not remembering as much from my dreams as I have been.  It's like my brain is saying, no!  You can't enjoy the dreams and write them down.  It's just weird. It's kind of like I have the dreams, then they're dissipating like the smoke in the gif below.

Go figure

So it seems as soon as I start a blog/journal to write down my dreams, dreams that I've remembered very vividly all day, well now I wake up and can't remember much from them.  But I do remember a bit from last night, so I will write that today.

What little I remember is that I was for some reason living in a house still with my brother.  And I had come home to find a bunch of his friends, guy friends, and one girl, the girl that I have not so good memories of from high school, hanging out in our house.  And I told them they needed to leave, I was going to bed.  I guess they were kind of hanging out in my room, or my area of the house.  And they just refused.  So I told them I was going to call the police.  For the most part they just kept hanging around kind of getting into my personal space. There was a bit of a sexual overtone with the guys, and the girl was just kind of mean girlish like I remember her from school.  Finally, one of them said, "we'd better go guys, she did actually call the police last time we were here."  Or he said something like that.  And then it was like he told about the experience, so they finally left.

My own analysis of the dream pulls from the movie that I saw last night.  I saw the movie Unfriended, which is basically about online bullying, as well as ghosts coming through the computer to get revenge.  So I'm guessing the mean girl from my past came from the mean girl/bullying in the movie.  The calling the police probably came from the movie as well. Because they did call the police in the movie to come to one of their houses.  Some of the guys were guys from my past, guys that do tend to show up in my dreams a lot.  Probably because of the fact that these guys were a big part of my college life and definitely were a pretty intense part of my life at the time.  So much that those years and times are never quite out of my mind.

Good morning!

I have noticed that I have a lot of vivid dreams.  I often post what happens in a status update on Facebook. But I decided I wanted to keep track of them in a journal of sorts.  I figured I try a blog.  I have a lot of dreams that have similar situations or locations, real or fictional, and I wanted to try to see how often I had each type.  And maybe figure out if there was a reason why I had them certain days.  I do enjoy looking up dream meanings. I often wake up in the  middle of the night and google it on my iphone.  But I thought I'd try this for awhile and see how it goes.

I'm not doing this to get followers or anything like I do on my book blog, this is really just going to be for me.  Not sure if I'll post every day.  Probably not.  But will post when I think about it and remember what I've dreamed the night before.  I do love gifs, so maybe I'll be including those for fun in my posts when I have time.  Like the one below.